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Post by REMUS JOHN LUPIN on Apr 12, 2011 21:48:56 GMT
((Author's Note: This is a little something I jotted down earlier today. Going to turn it in eventually, but right now it needs work. I want to know what themes you guys see in this piece, what you'd like to see me expand on when I lengthen it, what you think could be moved around, changed, cut, added, etc. Also, do let me know what connecting themes/threads you see working from section to section and anything that you think could work to connect them/add to them. The goal here is to work in layers about what it means to be a writer, to create, to not be creating, etc. And no, the post title is not the working title, at present the piece doesn't have an actual title.))
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“I’m bored”
“Tell someone who cares.”
“Okay.” Pause. “I’m bored.”
“And I’m busy. Can’t you just sleep for a while or something?” Never, I tell myself, design a character whose sole purpose is to cause trouble. It will backfire, you won’t like it, and then you will, but that’s whole other can of worms.
“Sleep? But that’s boring. Say, you got anything to drink?”
“No.”
“Vodka?”
“No.”
“Amaretto?”
“No.”
“151?”
“No!” I growl at the empty room in frustration. Thankfully, there’s nobody around to witness my outburst. It’s one of the many charms of being a loner.
For a while, the ensuing silence holds. I sigh in relief and stare at my computer screen for the next twenty minutes, trying to reroute my train of thought, but it’s too late. One little thing and now it’s permanently derailed for the rest of night. I swear vehemently as I imagine laughter in my head. “You’re a bastard, Hammond.”
More laughter.
“I hate you.”
No answer.
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Write, they want me to write? Alright, so it’s been weeks since I’ve written anything - It may be time.
Dragon Age: Origins stares at me from its perch atop the sleek black ps3 on the other side of the room. I pick up the controller – all silver and gleaming with the promise of escape, press the clear plastic button that will damn me for hours, and lose myself to a story that I fervently wish that I had thought of.
Game on.
I prefer BioWare’s characterizations to my own but then, I always seem to prefer other people’s characters to my own. Most of the time, I try to keep this preference to myself, but somehow my characters always seem to find out. Someone always feels slighted, and the sulking – oh the sulking! This is why I haven’t written in months. I tell myself that it’s for the best, that a few well intentioned video games will jump start my brain, get those creative juices flowing again, maybe even give birth to a few new characters. Is it too much to hope for someone a bit more serious this time around? I need someone to talk to.
And as an afterthought: probably.
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“Hammond. Hey, Hammond!”
No answer.
Before me, the screen lies empty, a terrifying white void that needs to be filled with something, anything, before it overwhelms and consumes me. Now all I have to do is rouse one of my characters. Therein lies the problem.
“God damn it, Zane, they’re waiting for a reply!”
A long pause. “So give them one, you’re a writer.”
As if it were that easy. “Quit being a prat and help me.”
“Don’t wanna.”
“What? Why the hell not? Yesterday you wouldn’t let me alone? I thought you wanted to do something. I thought you were bored.” If I pretend that it isn’t desperation that drives me, perhaps he won’t notice it.
“That was yesterday.” He noticed it.
Yeah, didn’t think that was going to work. It’s kinda hard to lie to someone who lives in your head.
It doesn’t stop me from trying.
“And today?”
“Today I want to sleep.” And the unspoken, today you can suffer the ill effects of boredom.
Writer – blocked.
---------
The second time this occurs, Theo answers.
“I have an idea”
“No. Just, no. I’m not falling for that one again. The last time I let you have any say in anything, you permanently traumatized everyone else’s characters.”
“So?”
“So, no.”
“I can play nice.”
“That’s what you said last time.”
From some lesser-lit, ill-used corner of my mind comes a soft “I can try to help.” It’s Harleen. I’ve always disliked her for some reason, have tried to forget about her, but she always seems to creep back in whenever I’m not paying attention, or whenever I’m desperate – take your pick. She’s that faithful but ultimately useless puppy that you can’t help but kick, or in this case reinvent, but each time I reinvent her it’s the same. I grow bored with her in under a week and try to discard her, and she fades into the furthest reaches of my mind – for a time.
I ask myself for the hundredth time why I dislike her, and then immediately stop myself from answering. If I never say that it’s because we’re too alike, I don’t have to think about what that means - all of my denial and self-loathing in one neat, book-loving little package. And there it is. “I can help.” No, no you can’t.
Damn it.
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Post by HAMPTON KIRA GREYBACK on Apr 12, 2011 22:02:11 GMT
 Wow... this was... Wow. I loved it. It actually reminds me of a book I think I read somewhere. Can't exactly remember what it was or if I even finished reading it. I think I stopped reading it. It made me think a bit to much. Just like now, I just started thinking about me and my characters; Who I'm like, and who I'd Like to be. The only thing I found (maybe you intended it to be this way or not I'm not sure; just pointing it out) is in the one phrase: You say 'let me alone' instead of 'leave me alone'. Now, I sometimes will say 'let me alone' but that's just more my bad speaking grammar than anything. I wasn't sure if you intended this or not, so I figured I'd just play it safe and point it out ^^. Better safe than sorry I always say. But other than that, I loved it. |
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Post by REMUS JOHN LUPIN on Apr 13, 2011 0:48:20 GMT
Totally intended this time around, though I do thank you for pointing it out all the same.
Anywho, is there anything you'd like to see brought out in the expanded version? Also, I'm glad it made you think / you connected with it, as that's what I want my readers to do. *is writing this for a creative writing class* |
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Post by HAMPTON KIRA GREYBACK on Apr 13, 2011 1:48:15 GMT
Really? I just want to see the thing come full circle. With some kind of revelation made. But you may already have that intended so I can't say anything until the whole things done and read. ^^
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Post by PIPER ANDROMEDA LUPIN on Apr 13, 2011 3:43:53 GMT
I'd say go into more depth about who these characters are. We have a bit of sense of their personalities just from their dialogue, but not a whole lot. It might be easier to make a picture of them if you describe them a bit more. That's really all I've got. It's cute.
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Post by REMUS JOHN LUPIN on Apr 13, 2011 3:48:41 GMT
@erin - Ah, right-o, makes sense. Somehow it never occurred to me to describe their appearances and such. Ironically, I usually spend much of my time doing just that (describing) in most of my other pieces. Go figure, when I try to use a different showcasing medium I completely lose the other. Now to figure out where to add these little tidbits.
HARRY JAMES POTTER - Full circle? In what way? Any ideas? (they might give my brain a little zap and get it working again)
Also, if any of you could throw out things that you've encountered as writers that you think should be explored, anything to do with the creative process really, do make a suggestion. This really does need to be doubled in length at the very least. I've been slacking lately and need to make up for it. ^.^; |
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Post by PIPER ANDROMEDA LUPIN on Apr 13, 2011 3:54:22 GMT
Another thought - the second portion of the piece that starts with "Write?" seems really out of place. The other parts all had dialogue and different characters in them, so that part of it kind of threw me off and I was really confused about what that part was supposed to contribute. I also think you should blend the piece together more rather than using '---' as a separator... it's possible you just did that for now and planned on expanding those parts, but I really think it would flow better if you just used words to transition rather than cutting it up like you have.
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Post by REMUS JOHN LUPIN on Apr 13, 2011 3:58:31 GMT
Mmm, true, that bit could use some dialogue for starts. it does seem kinda off now that you've brought that up.
As for the separators, I was trying to work in fragments, but I suppose it isn't overly fragmented, so blending is probably doable here (and would admittedly help the flow a bit). Many thanks for the feedback. Tis quite helpful. <3
Now to come up with a few more transition scenes, ideas, and words...*ponders this* |
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Post by HAMPTON KIRA GREYBACK on Apr 13, 2011 14:19:35 GMT
Possibly go into a little more detail about what exactly it is your supposed to be writing. It would be nice to see that interaction with Zane again attempting to get a reply out. Granted, we can understand and guess at what it is your attempting to do, but others may not. And then if Zane continues to be a bit of a problem, you can go into more detail about his Character, like what you did with Harleen. And then possibly go into why these characters were created. Why you perfer help from one character over another.
>,< Sorry if that's confusing. I'm still sick and I just woke up. I guess what I'm saying is.. (to Quote Hatake Kakashi from Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto) To find the hidden Meaning within the hidden meaning.
Again, sorry if this is confusing, but it's really the only way I can describe what I'm trying to say...
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